The Big 5 Actions
Background
Our research with thousands of people all over the world has identified five core sets of actions, which are essential for both maintaining and increasing our mental health.
In the sections below we provide detailed information about each of the 5 core sets of actions, including ideas for how they can be used to improve mental health.
Meaningful Activities - Doing the things you love to do!
Why It Matters
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Doing fun and enjoyable things each day makes us feel good and gives us things to look forward to.
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Doing fun and engaging activities takes our minds off stressful things and reminds us about the good things in our lives.
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Doing fun things triggers endorphins and neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin, which help us relax, make us feel good and support healthy mood.
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Doing fun things also supports our brain health in the long run by keeping our brain stimulated and activated.
How to Do It
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Think about the activities that you enjoy doing and which are easy to do – it might be as simple as listening to a favourite piece of music, watching a show, or going for a walk.
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Do these activities at least 4 times a week.
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To help select something, choose activities that you used to do, but have stopped doing.
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Try to choose activities that you can enjoy with someone else – you can then combine social connections with a fun activity.
What People Say
“I used to feel guilty doing things that I enjoy. Then I realised that I’m a better version of myself when I have a bit of fun each day.”
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“I didn’t realise how many things I had stopped doing because of work and family responsibilities. Those are the things which keep me going.”
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“As I’ve got older, I’ve realised that a short walk or a bit of exercise each day is something that I really enjoy.”
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Detailed Description
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It’s about doing fun things
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It’s about doing meaningful things
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It’s about following your passion and your interests
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It’s about ensuring you have meaning in your life
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Meaning is often found through “doing” rather than just “thinking”
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Note: Meaning is different to happiness:
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Meaning is about self-transcendence, responsibility, and sometimes enduring temporary hardship for a greater cause (eudaimonia).
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Happiness is frequently linked to fulfilling immediate needs and desires (hedonia)
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Why is meaning important
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Gives us purpose – we are at our best when we have purpose – people without purpose feel lost and unhappy
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Keeps us focused/energised – gives us pleasure – fulfils us
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How do I find this/find my purpose?
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Might be a case of getting it back
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Have to deconstruct when you lost it
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Did it go (you achieved it) or did you go (you had to do something else)
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When you came back did you want to do it again or not (had you achieved it) or did it feel too hard (I felt I couldn’t do it the same way or the same level so I gave up)
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Are you afraid of failure (expectations too high)?
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Are you tired of it (need something else)?
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Can you do a variation on the theme (instead of competing, you participate or coach or govern?)
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Check your personal values and strengths – self reflection
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What do you really care about, what do you stand for, what is really important for you?
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Can be significant for the world (transcendence) or significant just for you and those around you.
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End of day – at the end of your days,
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What do you want to have achieved and why?
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What would give you satisfaction?
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Wha would it look like?
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How does this fit with your life story (coherence)
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Focus on what you can do – not what you can’t
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Give yourself space to be a novice
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Give yourself time to think it through – plan time to plan
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What are the simplest steps you can take
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ADDITIONAL EXERCISES: MEANINGFUL ACTIVITIES
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Exercise 1. “My best space” memory. Think back to a time when you felt most satisfied with your life. List the specific things you were doing, the surroundings, and the people involved to help you identify actions which you used to enjoy and could start again.
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Exercise 2. Your favourite show. List your favourite show, movie, series, book, and music. Set a time each day to enjoy at least 10 minutes of one of these – this will give you something to look forward to each day as well as joy each day.
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Exercise 3. De-clutter. Spend 10 mins each day tidying up and de-cluttering a space around you. This is not only satisfying, but clears space for fun activities while giving you mastery over your environment.
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Exercise 4. Set a physical challenge. Exercise, even walking or stretching can be invigorating and satisfying. Set a simple challenge for the next week based on your current fitness. It might be walking or moving for 10 mins each day or walking 10 kilometers a day – find a challenge that you will enjoy and find satisfying.
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Exercise 5. “My passion list”. Think about the things you have done in your life which filled you with passion – activities that you were completely absorbed in. They might include physical activities such as hiking or fishing, or more cognitive activities such as reading or writing or enjoying music, or social activities. Identify two that you could do, or start to do in the next week, and schedule a time to find that passion again.
Healthy Thinking - Keeping your thoughts grounded and realistic
Why They Matter
We all have thoughts – and thoughts are important because they affect how we feel. It is important that our thoughts are realistic and constructive.
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Healthy thinking challenges the self-destructive (negative) self-talk that is triggered when we feel depressed or anxious.
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Our thoughts affect our perspective and view of ourselves, the world and the future. So, it is important that we check our thinking and ensure it is constructive and realistic.
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Healthy thinking involves talking to ourselves with the same respect that we talk to others.
How to Do It
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Practice speaking to yourself the way you would speak to someone else (with kindness and respect).
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Practice being grateful for 3 things each day.
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Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.
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When you are being self-critical, stop and congratulate yourself when you do something well.
What People Say
“I didn’t realise how badly I talked to myself when I was stressed – I realised that I could be my own best friend or a good coach to myself – it has made a huge difference.”
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“Self-compassion has made a big difference. I’m not being soft, I’m being respectful to myself.”
"I now remind myself that I’m doing the best I can with the resources I have. Saying that to myself has helped me realise that I’m okay.”
Detailed Description
We all have thoughts – thoughts are the things we say to ourselves. Thoughts are shaped by our conscious and less conscious beliefs. Thoughts affect how we feel about ourselves, the world around us, and about our future.
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Our thoughts and beliefs can be neutral (for example, just observing things), positive or constructive (for example, focusing more on the positive aspect of things) or negative and unhelpful (for example, biased towards negative events and interpretations). Here are some more examples:
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Positive thoughts: I can do this. This might be hard, but I’ll try my best.
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Neutral thoughts: This is hard. this is an interesting task.
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Negative thoughts. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this. It’s not worth me trying.
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Important facts about our thinking include:
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Our thoughts are not always correct or accurate.
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When people feel stressed or depressed, they often have more unhelpful or negative thoughts. For example, they may become more self-critical of themselves, critical of others and of the world, and negative about their future.
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Unhelpful thinking can trigger or prime us to see more of the negative things around us, or bias us to interpret events in a negative way.
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And, in extreme cases, negative thinking can be damaging to our self-confidence and more broadly to our mental health.
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When we have lots of unhelpful thoughts we tend to feel more negative, sad, and anxious. Think back to a time when you were sad or unhappy – you will probably notice that this made it hard to see or appreciate the good things in life, but made it easier to see the negative things. This means that our thoughts can not only affect how we feel and how we see the world, but they can keep us feeling sad and anxious.
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The Big 5’s Healthy Thinking is about making sure that our thoughts are balanced, realistic and helpful. We also believe that becoming more active can trigger changes in our thinking – doing more fun activities results in improvements in mood and outlook – we become more positive – restricting activities results in deterioration in mood and outlook.
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In this context, healthy thinking has the following characteristics:
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Recognises that thoughts are always present, and that at the least, we want to ensure that our thoughts are grounded and realistic and not self-destructive.
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Recognises that most things are neither as good nor as bad as we might think that they are.
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Encourages us to look at both the good and the not so good aspects of things and to stay grounded, particularly when times are tough.
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Encourages us to practice respectful self-talk, for example, saying to ourselves, “I know that today will be hard, but I will aim to be the best that I can be, no matter what.”
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A good way to practice healthy thinking is to think about what we would say to a friend or a loved one who is going through a hard time; phrases such as “you’re stronger than you think”, “I know you can do this”, “it doesn’t have to be perfect”, are things we might say to someone one, and which ideally we would say to ourselves. We encourage you to think about what you would say to others in the following circumstances:
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Feeling nervous about meeting new people
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Feeling unmotivated and not wanting to do something
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Feeling sad about the state of the world
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Feeling worried that they won’t be perfect at a new skill
ADDITIONAL EXERCISES: HEALTHY THINKING
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Exercise 1. Words of Support. What would you say to a friend who is going through a difficult time? What words of encouragement would you offer? Write those down and imagine saying those things to yourself the next time you are struggling.
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Exercise 2. Shoulds vs. Coulds. Complete the following sentences: “I should be (perfect at everything I do/smartest person in the world/beautiful/loved by all/etc).” Reflect on how using the word “should” sets you up for unrealistic expectations. Now, challenge your use of the word “should”. For example, instead of saying to yourself, “I should be perfect at everything I do”, say “I will do my best, knowing that my best is good enough.” Reflect on how much more energising it is to be realistic and grounded with your thinking and self-talk.
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Exercise 3. Coach or Critic. How often does your self-talk support you, vs. berate you? Think about the last time you did something which didn’t work out the way you planned – was your self-talk supportive and respectful or critical and disrespectful?
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Exercise 4. 10-year Perspective. When feeling distressed, ask yourself, looking back in 10 years time from now, how would I have liked to have dealt with this situation? What would I do and say to be grounded, realistic and mature?
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Exercise 5. The Unflappable Hero Story. When feeling distressed, think about how your ‘unflappable hero’ would have handled the situation. The ‘unflappable hero’ is the version of yourself that I calm in every situation. What would they say or do to navigate the complexity, while staying grounded and calm.
Healthy Routines - The routines that keep you well.
Why These Matter
Routines (or rituals) are the things we do each day or each week or month without thinking about, but which support our mental and physical health.
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These include simple (but important) actions such as going to bed and getting up at the same time, eating at least one healthy meal each day, and brushing our teeth.
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They also include ensuring that we have time to wind-down or decompress each day.
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Healthy routines keep our basic biological systems, such as our circadian rhythm in balance. When these systems are disrupted we can become fatigued, irritable, have difficulty managing our emotions, and become physically unwell.
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We often overlook our healthy routines, particularly when we get busy or stressed. But without them our lives can quickly feel more difficult and stressful.
How to Do It
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Think about the time when you were the best version of yourself – think about the healthy routines you followed and pick the three most important ones.
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Get to bed early 3 or 4 times each week.
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Make sure you schedule in short breaks each day and have longer breaks every few weeks – we all need to recharge.
What People Say:
“I fall apart if I don’t get enough sleep. Going to bed early 3 nights a week has changed my life.”
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“I never took breaks during the day, but now that I am, I’m more productive and a nicer person to be around, and I have more energy for myself at the end of the day.”
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“Having a family dinner 3 or 4 times a week has changed how our family talk to each other – it’s so obvious and simple – but has made such a difference.”
ADDITIONAL EXERCISES: HEALTHY ROUTINES
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Exercise 1. Best Version of Myself. Think back to when you were the most content in your life. Think about the healthy routines that you had then, and make a commitment to adding at least two of those to your current habits and routines.
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Exercise 2. Habit Stacking. A great way to adopt a new good habit is to ‘link’ or ‘stack’ it with an existing habit. For example, if you want to drink more water each day, keep an empty glass by your toothbrush, that way, whenever you go into the bathroom you will see the glass and have a drink.
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Exercise 3. Bring a Friend. It’s often easier to start a new habit with a friend. So, if you are planning to start walking regularly, eating more heathy foods, or spend less time on digital devices, feel free to bring a friend on the journey. Often, the people around us are struggling with the same challenges as we are, and they appreciate the opportunity to improve their own lives while sharing a new experience. Think about who you might ask to join you on your next healthy habit.
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Exercise 4. What’s Realistic? When thinking about your next healthy habit, ask yourself ‘What is realistic?’ We sometimes feel that we need to do something perfectly in order to benefit or to do it ‘properly’ – when in reality, we can still benefit from doing something 80% instead of 100% of the time, particularly if we are just starting a new habit or routine. So, instead of expecting yourself to eat healthy meals 100% of the time, aim for 75% or 80% of the time, and as you get used to your new habit you can increase the proportion.
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Exercise 5. Two Steps Forward and One Step Backwards. It’s normal to struggle to pick up a new habit or routine. Aim for progress, not perfection. It’s okay to miss a day, particularly when you get busy. Rather than berate yourself for not doing something, make a note in your diary to do it later in the day or tomorrow – that way you can enjoy the satisfaction of completing the task.
Goals and Plans - Having things to look forward to and work towards
Why They Matter
Goals and plans are really important. They:
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Provide us with hope for the future.
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Give us something to look forward to and strive towards.
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Help us to build a better future.
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Focus our purpose – and most of us want and need a purpose.
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Stop us thinking (and giving power) to the things that are stressful.
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Give us things to achieve, which triggers dopamine, which gives us feelings of joy and pleasure.
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Goals can be short term (for example, going for a walk or getting a few minutes exercise each day), medium term (for example, tidying that kitchen cupboard this week), or longer term (for example, building a new friendship). They can be very simple or complex – it’s great to have a combination of these.
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Goals and plans are really important even when we are on vacation. Many people enjoy vacations and breaks more when they have simple plans for each day. In contrast, people often feel lost or aimless if they don’t have a goal.
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Goals and plans are particularly important because they help us to have meaning and purpose in our lives. Most people (but not everyone) want to have meaning in their lives – that is, a purpose that they want to work on each day. Each person is unique, and so each person’s purpose is personal to them. But, often a life-purpose involves doing actions that benefit other people or other things – such as voluntary work, looking after the environment, making the world better for others.
How to Do It
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Think about 3 things you want to achieve by 9am (for example, get out of bed, shower, have breakfast).
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Think about 1 thing you want to achieve later in the day (for example, go for a short walk, or complete a chore).
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Think about 1 thing you want to achieve by the end of the month (for example, read a book, join a club).
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Think about one thing you can do that will help you to build a better life (for example, improve or maintain your physical health, support a family member or friend to achieve a goal of their own).
What People Say
“Each night I plan the next day – what I absolutely need to achieve – and most times I get it done – it has taken so much pressure off me.”
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“Knowing that I’m moving forward, or at least not going backwards makes me focus on my future and not my past problems.”
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“I’m telling people about my goals – it’s changed my perspective on myself and on my life.”
ADDITIONAL EXERCISES: GOALS AND PLANS
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Exercise 1. Current vs. Ideal. Grab a sheet of paper and create a table – divide the rows into different parts of your life such as vocation (for example, job or study or something else), relationships (for example, friends and family), finances, mental and physical health, interests and hobbies, and any other categories that are important for you (for example, spirituality, XXX). Then, create one column for your ‘current’ life and a second column for your ‘ideal’ life. Looking at the differences between the two columns can help you identify goals and plans for improving different parts of your life.
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Exercise 2. What Do I Really Enjoy? Interview yourself and ask ‘What are the things in you life that you value the most and that give you the most joy?’ Add as many different things as you can, and then look at things that they have in common. Develop simple goals around how you can work towards doing more of the things that are on your list – it might be as simple as scheduling time each week to do a hobby, or work on a skill which will get you closer to you favourite activities.
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Exercise 3. Working Backwards. Start with your end goal in mind and work backwards through all the different steps you need to get there. For example, if your goal is to get a great job, think about the skills and information you need to help you to secure that job. Write down the things that you will do to achieve and secure those skills and information and how you might do that or who you can talk to for advise or help in achieving those steps. You can even draw those steps on a picture of a stepladder to show the things you will do to achieve a goal.
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Exercise 4. Visual Goals. We are more likely to achieve our goals if we write them down and can see them each day. You might attach sticky notes to your bathroom mirror, or make a note that you keep on your refrigerator or set up a regular reminder in our diary. Giving your goals visibility helps you to keep them front of mind and front of purpose.
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Exercise 5. Talk to Others. Share your goals with people you trust and respect. Ask their advice about how they have achieved their own goals, and what advice they found most helpful. Use this technique to learn from the experience and wisdom of others and to get support for working towards your own goals.
Social Connections - Staying connected to people you love and respect
Why It Matters
a. Most people enjoy the feeling of belonging to a family, tribe, or group of some kind.
b. The feeling of belonging provides a sense of safety and security, and can help people have confidence in themselves.
c. Lack of connection can lead to feeling lonely and isolated, which can trigger feelings of insecurity, fear and unhappiness.
How to Do It
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Call or message 3 or more people each week
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Join and regularly engage with a local group or online community.
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Schedule shared activities, like a walk or coffee at least once each week.
What People Say:
“I find it hard to call people, but sending an SMS is easy and I always love getting a response.”
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“I feel much happier after connecting with people I love and respect – I just have to make the effort.”
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“Having a weekly or fortnightly catch-up in my diary makes it easier, and I really look forward to it.”
ADDITIONAL EXERCISES: SOCIAL CONNECTIONS
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Exercise 1. Build Your Non-Verbal Skills. Non-verbal skills include things like eye contact and body language. Think about someone who is a great communicator - watch how they move and position their body when talking with others – also observe their eye contact and how they might lean in or out when talking to one or more people. Choose one or two non-verbal skills to work on each day – these might include making eye contact during a conversation or meeting, showing you are interested by your facial expressions, using gestures such as nodding or leaning in, and being aware of keeping a comfortable personal space.
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Exercise 2. Build Your Verbal Skills. Verbal communication skills include the things you say and how you say them. People who are good communicators often think about what they are going to say, say it concisely, and then manage their tone and pace when speaking. Good communicators are also often great listeners, and demonstrate this by asking questions, summarising the key messages, and making others feel comfortable by including them in the conversation. Practice one or two verbal skills each day – for example, speaking loudly enough for the audience, changing the tone and speed of what you are saying to convey meaning, checking that you have understood what someone has said by repeating the key messages back to them, and using simple and concise language while avoiding fillers such as ‘ums’ or ‘like’.
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Exercise 3. Key Questions. One of the things that stop people from building or maintaining friendships is feeling that they aren’t interesting or don’t have anything to say. This is a normal concern which you can address by creating a set of ‘key questions’, which are comfortable conversation starters. These are questions you can ask people you meet for the first time, or people you know. Examples include, “What was the highlight of your weekend/what are you looking forward to this weekend?” “What’s hobbies or interests do you enjoy the most?” “What’s the best meal you have had recently?” These simple questions are a great way to move from general ‘chit-chat’, to getting people talking more about the things that interest them.
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Exercise 4. Build Social Contacts Around Your Interests. Think about the activities that you love to do – listening to music, playing or watching sport, watching movies, reading books, and others. Then think about the clubs or groups that you might join so that you can meet other people who share common interests. You don’t have to commit straight away, instead try a ‘practice’ class so that you can figure out if it is right for you. By choosing classes and groups you will find that you can more easily connect with people through your shared interests and over time, this can lead to strong friendships.
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Exercise 5. Social Atom. This is a great way to review the relationships you have and where you might focus. The Social Atom starts with a simple drawing of a small circle, surrounded by several groups of ever-larger circles around the small circle. The small circle represents you. Write the names of the people who are closest to you – the ones you confide in and trust completely in the space between your circle and the next closest circle – this is your intimate group. In the next circle (working outwards), add the names of other friends or family who are close to you – this is your close group. In the next circle (working outwards), add the names of people you know casually, these might be people you work with, or spend time with – this is your friend group. In the next circle, add the names of people you have just met or only know vaguely – this is your acquaintance group. Once you have done this, take a look at whether you have enough people in your intimate group (many people like to have 2-4 people), in the close group, friend group and your acquaintance group. If you feel that you don’t have enough people in your intimate or close group, see if you can identify someone from the outer groups that you might spend more time with to see if you can build a closer relationship. This is a great exercise which most people find helps them focus and commit to building and maintaining relationships and friendships.
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